Overseas- My DECISON

I have been neglecting this space once again. God, I procrastinate very often. In a way, that statement bears some truth and lie. It's 50-50 because I did not want to update here as nothing much has happened and the events that did... are dots.

This online diary is really not going so well as I am not doing much but basically eat, sleep and repeat the activities unless the intermission includes some fun time meaning that I am home way past my curfew... Dots.

Anyhow, this yesterday on the 13th of October, there was plans for a picnic by the beach with Mon-mon and Kitty. However, the event was shelved because:

• I was undecided about the 'unplanned' event by Mon-mon
• Is it an upcoming disaster?
• I was drained because it was that time of the month
• Pissed off about the slightest of things
• Irritated with my family members
• Being lectured by BF was not helping
• Just silently cursing at the god-damn pain package
• There was another birthday event apparently.
• The birthday person was even messaging me at 2am to confirm my attendance.

So anyhow, I will see to it that the meeting will be done in November, after my trip. I just have too many things especially with going overseas and everything. 
PS: No, how can I be busy dating sia? I am growing concerned about the letters of offer sia.

Anyhow, yesterday, what was it again? God, (Slaps head dramatically) Oh right, another 21st birthday bash. Good grief, what is the hype about being an adult? Parties are thrown like every month... If only they would throw the 红包 man.

It's Liyan's 21st birthday. This girl is like super dots even to me sia. Frankly, I am not that close to her* but the way she plans her birthday party is somewhat last minute. I get the 'I just book a hotel and all will be fine' vibe from her.

*Liyan is a girl whom I know in Coral by Kitty(?! I forgot, remind me) I even mentioned on Facebook that honestly, I hardly knew her so why was she inviting me? 

Anyhow, BF and I met up with her and her best girlfriend, and gal friend's BF. (I don't want to spell lei, maybe will spell wrong also). Apparently, she needed help to bring over the foodstuff so nuff said.

And then an exasperated BF was repeating Liyan is a total idiot for not knowing about a shuttle bus service to get to the Residence Hotel Capri which is at Changi Point. Along the long way there (well, we took a long cut), we walked past the NTUC Fairprice and I was already thinking, "Why can she not get the party stuff there? Ok, never mind."

Anyhow, reached the new Residence Hotel only to wait at the reception area for the key and then we all got jammed at the lift because... one needed to scan the hotel key in order to access the floor. Talk about security...

And the room... is super small. LOLS. I was expecting an average sized room but that was just... small. Oh well, let's just help the Birthday girl then.

Oh my god! (waves the bouncy balloon away) Get that thing away from me!! I just don't do well with any balloons especially when they are in the midst of being prepared.

The birthday girl was amused that all of us were 'pathetic' when it came to blowing up balloons and tying them because I was cowering away from it while the 2 guys are like, "Anything else but the balloons!"

BF and I headed to the arcade there. Honestly, I was just looking rather then playing because well, I just refer watching.

Ok, fast forward since I am that lazy to write anymore and then, the guests started arriving and well, got to see the coralite ladies she's close to. I was like... "God. I can recognize them... so really, the only difference is hair length?" Like... why do all girl friends I know have long, straight hair? My hair hails from Africa in contrast.

Think the group of us made it to the 2nd last train either way and then headed back home. It's seriously like I keep reaching home past my curfew and my parents are like:

(Reaches for key and card key. Opens the door)
(Sitting on the couch) Dad: Oh, hey. 
Me: Hiya Daddy. (Closes Door)
(Goes into parent's room)
(On the bed, playing the Iphone while television is blaring in the background) Mum: 回来了？Go and take a shower
Me: Hiya, Mummy. Hai hai.
(Exeunt)

Well... anyhow, I don't get it but once again, my family is like on a super uproar over my decision in going overseas. Like all Asian family, the elders are worried that a prissy girl like me cannot take care of herself and that I jolly well may be cheated as a girl... God.

But it's not like I want to be nonchalant at all. To be honest, I think I am more scared and stressed then ever before because I will be experiencing something known as independence.

Nobody ever understands that actually, despite my heck care behavior  my heart would always be racing whenever my mind filters towards the fact that i will be going overseas. During this time, I feel so much yearning and fear about the unknown.

So many people have told me that I am not suited to go overseas given my character and gender. I am rather miffed now that I think about it. It's like condemning me just because i 'look' frail and prissy. 

Ultimately, I accept that it is my choice and I decided that yea, I do want to go overseas despite my fears. Many would say it's better to pursue education in Singapore but personally, all I truly WANTED was independence and adventure which was never really present in Singapore and this is the chance that is given by my parents and my own decision.

Oh dear, I seem to have bored you already huh? Sheesh. Oh well, guess it will end here for now. Night Night.