Me? Christmas is so... bad

It's like more and more people are expressing their disappointment in me though. It's started to hit me why, I became this way... is so strange. It may have started awhile back.

This Christmas is just so not jolly for me but I am not going to say that I hate it or anything. I just seem more drained then ever. Well.

I finally realised that the reason I am this way lately, due to my parent's scolding yet again, is because I have lost something. To this date, I have lost it which I haven't found.

I have lost 'myself' sometime ago. I dunno why and from when I 'lost' myself. Maybe it's the same as the last time whereby I changed my character 180 degrees. Suddenly became happy for no reason.

I realised that when I can no longer string words together nicely. It's like I can no longer write any any compositions in the nice English. Wkakaka. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?? Do I have some illness or something?