Why I am always getting the most stupid of scoldings
I don't get it... why must I get scolded just because I appear to be nonchalantly brushing the issue of overseas studying aside like 皇帝不急，太监急.
No, rewind. What ticked me off even more so is perhaps once again the fact that people plainly 'assume' I know so much or keep insisting they have told me and something goes wrong, they always start screaming or swearing at me.
I seriously don't get it. Obviously I am known to be a 'dumb' child and yet ironically, the moron of adults just seem to keep 'expecting' certain things given by the talented children. What the hell?
But hello, dear mother, Yes, I may be a selfish bastard of a girl(I only strove for myself) that always appears to be nonchalant (because I just am too dependently chained to the concept of being a 千金大小姐) but how on earth do you expect me to freaking read your goddamn mind of what you had wanted for dinner when you never DISCUSSED the dining menu with me?
Yes, you have no idea how much I have wanted to just stay away from the house because I have NEVER regarded it as my house. Why not? I am nothing but a tenant of the house since the property is not under my name now. I kid you not, I always say, "This is my parent's house."
Which is why I desire my own house more then anything. Every time I talk about getting a dog for my own house and not living with any of my family members is because I am a selfish bastard who simply seeks a SANCTUARY of my own by my CAPABILITIES.
Why am I so nonchalant that I seem to give the 'fuck-la-it's-just-school' attitude? Who knows but tell me, is getting over worried and tensed going to get me Intel from overseas any quicker or oh wait, even a scholarship from NUS?
If that is the case, then fine, I will be the first one to get worried. Haa... Parents say the bullshit of things... When I am stressed, they tell me to chill and ride it through and when I am nonchalant? They practically blast at me for being so unmotivated. What is the deal?
Balance? That would be the ultimate bullshit. If I could balance then hell there wouldn't even be any drama from the start.
God... the ranting really makes one feel so good. I always erupt when I can no longer take shit huh?
Anyhow, a decent post here about how the day went. For the 24th September... it's pretty much another day. I get up and do the usual routine and then, for lunch, instead of having the maid do the cooking, we walked Sable to the chain of shop houses for the eatery and back.
Unlike the previous encounter whereby I nearly needed the hospital... LMAO. AT least this time I had some food in my stomach for the 30 minutes trek with Sable lols.
Anyhow, BF decided to just pop by after his shift to play with Sable. LMAOS... like she's the only entertainment I have in this house sia.
And people wonder why I am so hesitant when it comes to hosting house visits this is because as I have ranted, I have always been simply a mere tenant and I always have to get permission or they will start accusing me about what typical young adults so-ignoring the family and thinking they have their own life. Screw the Asian thinking la. So what if that is what we (young adults) wanted?
Needless to say, I debated over this situation because of that and also primarily because I am never a good hostess lols. Well, sorry for being lousy...
Just understanding and watching my friends' lives unfolding around me. It just made me realize that growing up sucks because what our last generation thought was preparing us for the future only results in more worries on us. Our futures are all so grim quite honestly...
And this is really how I feel like... Quite painful and yet... there's still this spark of fight left.
Ironically, I am supposed to be the 'optimist' but at this rate... I seriously fear for even my own 'sanity'. I need an outlet to vent and fast.
Your temperament is SANGUINE. (How do I pronounce this?)
The sanguine temperament is fundamentally impulsive and pleasure-seeking. (Lols... So true...)
Sanguine people are sociable and charismatic.They tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. (Social gatherings?! Erm... let me answer when I get older. Boisterous like totally! Lols)
However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. (Yes!! So SHOO!!)
Sanguine can also mean sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. (Well, I figure that I am somewhat lacking in all 3 areas here.)
Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. (Hmm... True, I do have difficulty continuing... As for the late part well, uh, Kind of getting there. I am SUPER forgetful though. Sometimes? Hell... I am always sarcastic...)
Often, when they pursue a new hobby, they lose interest as soon as it ceases to be engaging or fun. (Those who know me will all agree with me when I say I am ?-hopping again)
They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. (But I am shy!!! Yea right part heard in the background.)
Sanguine generally have an almost shameless nature, certain that what they are doing is right. They have no lack of confidence. (Shameless? Ok, rephrase it as thick-skinned. But,uh, my confidence shatters easily?)
No, rewind. What ticked me off even more so is perhaps once again the fact that people plainly 'assume' I know so much or keep insisting they have told me and something goes wrong, they always start screaming or swearing at me.
I seriously don't get it. Obviously I am known to be a 'dumb' child and yet ironically, the moron of adults just seem to keep 'expecting' certain things given by the talented children. What the hell?
But hello, dear mother, Yes, I may be a selfish bastard of a girl
Yes, you have no idea how much I have wanted to just stay away from the house because I have NEVER regarded it as my house. Why not? I am nothing but a tenant of the house since the property is not under my name now. I kid you not, I always say, "This is my parent's house."
Which is why I desire my own house more then anything. Every time I talk about getting a dog for my own house and not living with any of my family members is because I am a selfish bastard who simply seeks a SANCTUARY of my own by my CAPABILITIES.
Why am I so nonchalant that I seem to give the 'fuck-la-it's-just-school' attitude? Who knows but tell me, is getting over worried and tensed going to get me Intel from overseas any quicker or oh wait, even a scholarship from NUS?
If that is the case, then fine, I will be the first one to get worried. Haa... Parents say the bullshit of things... When I am stressed, they tell me to chill and ride it through and when I am nonchalant? They practically blast at me for being so unmotivated. What is the deal?
Balance? That would be the ultimate bullshit. If I could balance then hell there wouldn't even be any drama from the start.
God... the ranting really makes one feel so good. I always erupt when I can no longer take shit huh?
Anyhow, a decent post here about how the day went. For the 24th September... it's pretty much another day. I get up and do the usual routine and then, for lunch, instead of having the maid do the cooking, we walked Sable to the chain of shop houses for the eatery and back.
Anyhow, BF decided to just pop by after his shift to play with Sable. LMAOS... like she's the only entertainment I have in this house sia.
And people wonder why I am so hesitant when it comes to hosting house visits this is because as I have ranted, I have always been simply a mere tenant and I always have to get permission or they will start accusing me about what typical young adults so-
Needless to say, I debated over this situation because of that and also primarily because I am never a good hostess lols. Well, sorry for being lousy...
Just understanding and watching my friends' lives unfolding around me. It just made me realize that growing up sucks because what our last generation thought was preparing us for the future only results in more worries on us. Our futures are all so grim quite honestly...
And this is really how I feel like... Quite painful and yet... there's still this spark of fight left.
Ironically, I am supposed to be the 'optimist' but at this rate... I seriously fear for even my own 'sanity'. I need an outlet to vent and fast.
And for the love of ending a decent post about my crap... I present to myself a personality test result from http://personality-testing.info/
Your temperament is SANGUINE. (How do I pronounce this?)
The sanguine temperament is fundamentally impulsive and pleasure-seeking. (Lols... So true...)
Sanguine people are sociable and charismatic.They tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be boisterous. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. (Social gatherings?! Erm... let me answer when I get older. Boisterous like totally! Lols)
However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. (Yes!! So SHOO!!)
Sanguine can also mean sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. (Well, I figure that I am somewhat lacking in all 3 areas here.)
Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. (Hmm... True, I do have difficulty continuing... As for the late part well, uh, Kind of getting there. I am SUPER forgetful though. Sometimes? Hell... I am always sarcastic...)
Often, when they pursue a new hobby, they lose interest as soon as it ceases to be engaging or fun. (Those who know me will all agree with me when I say I am ?-hopping again)
They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. (But I am shy!!! Yea right part heard in the background.)
Sanguine generally have an almost shameless nature, certain that what they are doing is right. They have no lack of confidence. (Shameless? Ok, rephrase it as thick-skinned. But,uh, my confidence shatters easily?)
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